Of death and taxes




Seven pounds

of flesh for seven lives taken.



Seven pounds
of love and hurt
of tears and laughter.



Seven pounds
of past and future.
Of hope and regret.




Of long searching gaze and offered hand.
Of shatterproof stones and broken wings.
Of banana peels and weeds,
of Beast and Duke.




Of giving and receiving.
Of seeing and being watched.
Of ocean and sea of grass.
Of lost and found,
of heartbreak and tongue-twists.




Of holding, holding on, and handing over,
Of the "what-if's" and the numbers.


Ultimately, of choices and decisions.

You & me & differences

Zadnjič sva imela tak čuden, napet večer. Ja. Ne, ne vem. Ne da se mi kregat. Kaj ne veš. Mah ne da se mi zdej o tem. Pustva stat. Dobro. Če tako hočeš. Pustiva stat. Menjajva temo. Kaj bi počela, če bi si lahko privoščila, nobenih denarnih ali časovnih omejitev, nobenih obveznosti?

Šla bi okoli sveta. Vzela bi nahrbtnik in šla. Ne z avioni. Avtobusi, vlaki, ladje. Brez načrta, brez pričakovanj. se ustavim, kjer se mi zazdi, ostanem, dokler hočem. Rada spoznavam nove ljudi, se soočam z drugimi kulturami. Rada doživljam. Ljudje so najmočnejša droga. Kot star zarjavel robot v globokem mrzlem vesolju oživim, ko se me dotakne duša in roka drugačnih bitij. Srce in duša mi zaživita. Vsako novo spoznavanje je kot osvajanje. Brez tega se počutim kot tetraplegik ujet v postelji v sobi brez oken, le stene in tla, in iščem vzorce in obraze med nepravilnostmi stropa. Kontakt potrebujem kot zrak, vodo in hrano, bolj kot spanje.

Obožujem stik z drugačnimi izkušnjami. Ob tem rastem. Rada rastem. In rada si širim obzorja. In se učim več o sebi. In tebi. In nama.

V glavnem, bekpekala bi z največjim veseljem. Več, kot gre v ruzak, tako ne rabim. Sprotoma kupujem potrebno in se istočasno znebim vsega, kar me otežuje. Osvobajajoč občutek.

Hm.

Hm? Kaj ti pomeni tale Hm?

Razmišljam, kako različna sva.

Kako različna?

Mene pri potovanju spoznavanje drugih ljudi in kultur sploh ne zanima. (AAA KAKO? KAKO TE TO NE ZANIMA??? TO NI MOŽNO! Pa ravno ti! Ok, to raje ne bom rekla na glas)

To ni, kar hočem od počitnic. In da ne vem, kje bom spal in kaj počnem jutri, mi je grozno. Hočem hotel, vnaprej rezerviran, kopalnico v sobi, ne maram skupnih kopalnic. V gneči mi je neprijetno. rad potujem in počitnikujem udobno. Ruzak? Kaj pa vem, mogoče res lahko spakiraš vse, kar rabiš, ampak vseeno...

Pač sva si različna. Včasim me preseneti, koliko. Pozabim, da nisva eno.

Me veseli, da te še vedno presenečam. Mene vedno presenetiš z odraslostjo in strpnostjo. Predvsem pa me preseneča tvoje potrpljenje z mano.

J.

Da?

Nekaj ti moram povedat.

Aha?

Nekaj zelo pomembnega.

Umm... jaaaa?

Ljubim te.

You know, you're such a drama queen sometimes.

I love you too, silly.

Hihihi vem, ampak tudi zato me imaš rad.

OMG

A je možno, da me po samo 15 minutah intenzivne telovadbe naslednji dan vse boli???
Mislim, halo!
Ogrevanje in raztezanje očitno nista brez veze... Pri drugih sortah "telovadbe" nimam nobenih problemov... ;) eh ja...

Wow... learn something new every day...

Junk food science

Cool! I'll keep on buying the cheap veggies, then.

Another year older...

Well, the clock has turned over 0:00, so I guess officially it's my

birthday today. Yay me!



How does that lyric go? ... another year older and closer to death?

But let's not get too morbid (Just a bit, as much as it's appropriate for such an occasion. Wouldn't want to be inappropriate, would we?).
Every day we are all closer to dying, but we have also experienced one more day of glorious life (well, most of us, anyway).

So, what shall I write about? How this past year has treated me? What I thought I'd be at 29 when I was a kid? What my plans for this year are? All of the above?

No idea. I'll just go with the flow and see where I end up, as usual.

A recap, to begin with;

+ 1 regular employment
± same family that I love
+ 1-2 embryos developing into nieces or nephews (as of Christmas)
± same great relationship with my Viking
+ many lessons learned in it
+ new family I really like and (I hope) they like me too. I now seem to have 2 brothers named Emil. Beat that! :))) (Nooo, I am not married, and won't be for a while yet. But I am aiming for forever, and hope to see it last)
± same old best friend that I love too


± same cat, still alive (yup, sleeping on a hot water bottle... it's -15°C outside, just so you know!)
- 800 and some € for vet bills
+ some kg (no, I will not make a resolution to diet, that just results in the number after the plus getting higher)
+ 2 coworkers
± same roommates, and we all get along still
+ one Open water diver's license (fuuuuuuuuun)
+ some frequent fliers miles
+ many friend's kids (seems to be a year to breed among them... ok, ok, procreate... oh fine, it's been a very fruitful year for couples)
+ some growing up done... not by far grown-up, though :) my inner kid does not give in that fast

It's been an interesting year. Hard to believe it was a whole year ago / only one year (time is tricky like that, one moment it seems so stretch like a red carpet far far away, and the next it ripples and folds and rises to trip you up) since we celebrated my b-day by going for hamburgers in Lima.

And next year it'll be the big 3-0, supposedly a big milestone or something. Hopefully, it'll mark another big change, or an avalanche of them; finishing up my uni (finally, dad can get plastered!), moving up North to my Viking, leaving all of this behind...

Yup, should be a busy year coming up. I feel tired already, best go catch some sleep to start with ;)


Luv ya all. Have a piece of cake!

Teta Petra

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
Čez dobrih 8 mesecev, držimo pesti, bom teta.

For Shia

To je bilo napisano kot komentar na Shiinem blogu, pa sem se razpisala, in bi želela to deliti še z vami.



Shia draga,
you will have to save yourself to be saved. Saving others is just a lesson that teaches best. And it sucks sometimes. Give them faith in themselves, mend their broken wings, and let them soar free, while hoping for their return. Most don't.

Mend your own wing, free your spirit even more, take to flight, soar through thin air, drunk on the closeness of stars.

Some will try to follow you, fly your path, be like you. But their trapped spirit will try to hold yours close, clutching you to their own bars. You might want to mend their wings to, but with time you realise their wings are bound with fear, and fear can only be mended if it's confronted. Some never are.
Then it's up to you to choose wether to hope and try and try again, or choose to fly again.

And sometimes, on a precious occasion, someone chooses to fly a path that resembles yours, or at least keeps your paths crossing, at least for a while. And on the way your heart might mend, some scars migth stop burning, some new ones might appear.
And in the end, flying solo or not, you are richer for all the experiences you've gone throuh, all the spirits you've met, friends, lovers, teachers, pupils, they all become a part of you.
Wether they are stones in your heart or add lift to your flight is up to you, though.


Yet you, Shia, I've always regarded as a young phoenix.
In begining you may have thought yourself a trapped robin, then you found a nice bird with pretty feathers and experienced, yet hurt eyes, and you opened eachothers wings for a while.
It's hard to fly while clutching to eachother too tightly though, and you crashed and burnt.

And rose from the ashes, a wonderful, dazzling phoenix with beautiful, more experienced and hurt soul glimpsing out through the dark eyes. Spread your wings in another direction, trying to fly with someone again.

And you hurt again. And you will rise again. Each time there might be another scar hiding beneath those beautiful golden feathers over your heart, the feather on the tips of your wings might be a bit ruffled and burnt, but the wings grow larger and stronger, and the tail longer, all of which will help you fly higher, faster, sharper, more freely.
You will be someone others aspire to be, showing those afraid of spreading their wings how wonderful it could be. You already are that, and you will be it even more so as time passes, and experiences accumulate.
Just enjoy the flight, and wink at the stars when the air around you grows thin.